Every week I plan to sit down and write a post and every week slips by like sand through my fingers. I've wanted to share about Lucy's first trip to Disney World, about our trip to the apple orchard, pumpkin patch's and our Halloween. I've wanted to share what's been on my mind in regards to growing babies, busy schedules, and traveling husbands, but my schedule just hasn't allowed it. Somethings gotta give, and unfortunately, it's this place. However, I have found a free moment as my husband is traveling and the babies are in bed. I do have hundreds of photos to edit, but I have something I need to write about. Something that I have to get off my chest. It started as a slight pull on my heart and has turned into a full fledged burden. Which I guess would be called a conviction.
As we all know, time is of the essence and smartphones have helped us maximize our time by allowing us to do so many things right at our fingertips, in an instant. And while it saves time in one respect, it's also a great thief. I love my Iphone5. I love what it does, I love how easy it is use, and I reeeeally love the camera. But I am also growing to hate it. I hate the grip it has on me and I hate the grip it has on others too. I love that I can email, make grocery lists, keep my calendar, text someone and make phone calls. I love that I can check Facebook quickly without pulling out my laptop, browse Instagram or Pinterest while I'm nursing and read my Bible or awesome articles while I lay in bed. I can check the weather and the news, check the time and listen to virtually any song I want. It can pacify my kid while I try on a pair of pants or while I make my way through Target so he doesn't see the toy isle. The hard part is putting it down...and leaving it down....and looking up. How sad is that?
My name is Ashley, and I have a problem. I have a problem with being sucked in. I have a problem with the fact that I could be using my phone for honorable purposes, like reading my Bible, but my kid can't distinguish the difference between me reading my Bible or just browsing Facebook. I have a problem with social networking when I should be socializing with the real life people in front of me. I'm thankful that my husband bought me my phone, but I know most of the time he's not. Sometimes he has to repeat himself when he's talking to me, and that's not fair. Sometimes my kid is trying to show me something...trying to tell me something....trying to compete...for me. I hate that.
I know I'm not the only one, because I see it too. I see people checking their phones in the middle of movies because they can't wait 90 minutes (what on earth did people do before cellular phones??). I see people at dinner and every person at the table has their head down. I see people swerving on the road because whatever it is they have to see or say is worth more than the lives on the road. And I see children running around on the playground looking for their moms approval or praise, but they are too darn busy looking down. I've heard kids trying to get someone's attention to show them something "so awesome" only for the loved one to give a delayed "uhhh...hang on...one... sec...." then give a little upward glance, smile and look right back down. I am guilty.
Friends, I say all this, because I don't want this to be true of me. I want to learn moderation. I love my phone, but I'm growing to hate it more and more everyday, and I'm so grateful that I do have that hate. Maybe it's the beginning of change for me. I could easily justify my usage. 'Gotta check in the middle of the movie to see if the sitter has called...." "I've gotta check my Facebook messages for photography clients...." "Gotta answer this one text because so-and-so is having a problem...." "Gotta edit this last picture...." "Man, that article was so good, it really spoke to what I've been going through lately." The list goes on. The truth of the matter is, it can wait. All of it really and truly can. the problem is how to make it wait. My babies? Well, they can't wait. They are growing up right before my very eyes and I'm sick and tired of being robbed. While my phone is what is robbing my attention, it is ME who is allowing it. And I'm committing myself to working on that. Writing this is my first step, I pray that just putting it out there will keep me accountable. If you feel that tug too, please join me! We can do it...our kids will thank us!