little girl, a little LIFE, just a couple of miles from my home that has left our town, our state, and our country heartbroken.
Here's the doozie that "came upon a midnight clear"- I got to thinking that the little boy that is asleep in the next room, is an actual LIFE! A little soul is asleep in the next room and he depends on ME for everything. He has unconditional trust at this point in his life. That baby goes to sleep every night trusting that I will be there in the morning to get him up. He trusts me to feed him, hold him, bathe him, protect him and teach him. And whatever he learns and knows about the Lord he learns from me. LIKE, WHOA. What a gift of seismic proportions! And for the people who have been given this gift multiple times? MIND BLOWING!
And it was decided. My stress was lifted, the pressure subsided and here's what I came up with: What's the rush? I'm loving this time with Kidd-O so much and honestly, he seems like just a baby still. And frankly, the weight of my previous paragraph is quite heavy on my shoulders. And I don't want to have kids just because I'm supposed to, because EVERYONE I know is, because I LOVE being pregnant (which I do), or because I want to be a Superwoman who can do all things. It's not really a race I'm that interested in winning. And I certainly don't want to pop as many kids out as I possibly can in a short amount of time just so I can get it over with. And I know that I would get so overwhelmed that I would wish those precious days away in hopes of quieter, less hectic times. And I certainly don't want to get so burned out that my personal investment in each LIFE that I birthed is nominal. This is my fear for my life and not to be a statement about anyone else. To each his own, and I know many rockin' mom's who love to pop babies out and are darn good at it. And I say all this to say, I may have 2 or I may have 6...ok, probably not 6, but for today I am enjoying the 1 I have and will be content in that. So no "big news"... yet
Whew! Glad I got that off my chest.